Introduction

It is common for caregivers to experience feelings of loss, especially if their lives and someone they love is changed by Alzheimer’s disease. The natural phases of grieving usually involve denial, anger, guilt, physical symptoms and eventually acceptance. However, it is important to know that everyone grieves differently.

Caregiver reactions

Caregivers may:

• Deny their loved one is ill.

• Experience periods of helplessness, despair and depression.

• Experience changes in appetite or sleep patterns.

• Get angry or frustrated with the person with Alzheimer’s and caregiving tasks.

• Withdraw from social activities and from friends, family and the person they care for.

Guilt

Throughout the process of grieving and mourning, guilt is often the most prevalent feeling for caregivers. This guilt arises from:

• Thinking they could have done something differently.

• Being able to enjoy life while their loved one may not.

• Feelings that they have failed, especially if their loved has been placed in a nursing home.

• Negative thoughts about the person with the disease — wishing her suffering would come to an end.

• Conflicts with family members because they are uninvolved or critical of the care that’s being provided.

In many cases feelings of guilt are linked to unrealistic expectations. To help caregivers cope with the grieving process, suggest they:

• Confront their feelings.

• Accept guilt as a normal part of loss and grief.

• Find ways to forgive themselves.

• Share their feelings with a friend, support group, therapist or spiritual leader.

• Learn to feel comfortable accepting and celebrating good things in their lives.

Coping with grief

There are ways that they can begin to cope with grief, including:

• Returning to some aspects of their daily routine.

• Allowing time for physical exercise, play and rest.

• Trying to find humor — even in difficult situations.

• Bringing balance to their lives by doing things they enjoy.

• Preparing for what the future may entail.